Tooth Fairy or Tooth Fairly Expensive?

Master Seven has finally lost his first two teeth.
After 10 wobbly days and the daily jibe from Learner Dad that he’d tie string between the tooth and an open door before closing it (believe me, this gets old quickly), the first one finally came out.
Being his mother, I figured I’d be there for the groundbreaking moment (I mean aren’t I there for all the less exciting stuff?) but of course the first bottom tooth casually left its cavity in the back of his poppy’s car.
Learner Dad and I were at a wedding when we got the news.
“So how much does the Tooth Fairy pay these days?” an in-law asked, when I told the entire table.
“Hmmm I’m not sure,” I said, mulling it over. “A dollar I guess.”
They looked horrified.
“A dollar?” one asked. “Is that all?”
“I told him they pay $20 per tooth,” Learner Dad grinned.
“Great,” I replied. “Then you can pay for Li’l Fatty’s entire set.”
So I got to thinking about one of the world’s biggest mysteries, as all mothers do: What’s the Tooth Fairy’s going rate?
Sure, I got $1 myself as a child… add inflation and all that… but how can I put a note in a glass of water?
“They don’t use glasses of water these days,” I was told by a friend.
“You find other special places, like putting a $10 note under the pillow.”
$10?! Was she serious?
I put the question out on Facebook – what does the enamel enamoured fairy pay anyway?
Some parents suggested $2 for the small teeth and $5 for the molars.
A non-parent suggested $100 and an iPhone. Good times for his future children.
My favourite response was: “$2.30, because when you tell people how much you got, it sounds like ‘tooth hurty’.”
$1, $10, I knew Master Seven wasn’t going to care. It was really about the tiny winged creature visiting his room when he was asleep after all.
He came home from his Poppy’s house with a water bottle containing the tiniest little tooth I’d ever seen nestled in its dregs.
He sold it to the Tooth Fairy that night for $2.
As for his second tooth?
It also came out at his Poppy’s house but this time he put true meaning into the term ‘lost a tooth’, by swallowing it!
That ignited fresh debate: does the Tooth Fairy still come?
Or, as Naughty Nanna suggested, does mummy need to sift through Master Seven’s poo to find it?
In the end, I told him the Tooth Fairy wasn’t a charity and was only in the business of buying teeth.
It didn’t matter, there are plenty of teeth to come (and it sounds like the back ones could be quite costly!)


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