Did I bring my boys into the world the right way? I used every kind of pain relief available in delivering Master Seven. Could I have managed without? Li’l Fatty was an emergency caesarean. Did he really need to be? Both were induced – one late, the other early. Should I have waited?
There are so many opinions on the right way to give birth. Often it’s not others, but us casting judgment on ourselves.
After the chaos and panic that was Master Seven’s birth, I was hoping for what many women experience the second time round – quicker, easier, more ‘natural’. So I felt a bit disappointed after the chaos and panic surrounding Li’l Fatty’s entry.
Then I read this article by Mia Freedman and gained a fresh and welcome perspective:
It’s not a long read but if you don’t have time to read it all, here are a few snippets:
“One of the most confronting things about pregnancy and birth is the unpredictability of it and women often believe they can regain control by planning. Babies, however, like to raise their middle finger at your plans. They come early, they come late, they get stuck, they get suddenly distressed or tired or tangled. I know you’ve made three playlists for the different stages of your labour but your baby doesn’t care.”
“It’s just not that interesting to them [men]. I don’t mean the part where they saw their baby for the first time. That’s mind-blowing. But the bits before that? Utterly insignificant compared to the lifetime of parenting that comes afterwards.”
“I recently heard a woman on the radio waxing lyrical about how her two homebirths ‘were the most incredible experiences of my life and I don’t know anyone who had a hospital birth and could say the same thing’. Me. I could. Three hospital births. Loved them all.”
“The game of My Birth Was Better Than Yours is an ugly, destructive one. And hugely risky if it puts anything above the physical welfare of a baby. So yes, I could bang on and on about my birth experiences. But I’d prefer to tell you about my kids.”
There’s really no better way to end this post than with that!