Childbirth… delivering a NOT GUILTY verdict

Did I bring my boys into the world the right way? I used every kind of pain relief available in delivering Master Seven. Could I have managed without? Li’l Fatty was an emergency caesarean. Did he really need to be? Both were induced – one late, the other early. Should I have waited?
There are so many opinions on the right way to give birth. Often it’s not others, but us casting judgment on ourselves.
After the chaos and panic that was Master Seven’s birth, I was hoping for what many women experience the second time round – quicker, easier, more ‘natural’. So I felt a bit disappointed after the chaos and panic surrounding Li’l Fatty’s entry.
Then I read this article by Mia Freedman and gained a fresh and welcome perspective:

http://www.mamamia.com.au/parenting/birthzillas-its-about-the-birth-not-the-baby/

It’s not a long read but if you don’t have time to read it all, here are a few snippets:

“One of the most confronting things about pregnancy and birth is the unpredictability of it and women often believe they can regain control by planning. Babies, however, like to raise their middle finger at your plans. They come early, they come late, they get stuck, they get suddenly distressed or tired or tangled. I know you’ve made three playlists for the different stages of your labour but your baby doesn’t care.”

“It’s just not that interesting to them [men]. I don’t mean the part where they saw their baby for the first time. That’s mind-blowing. But the bits before that? Utterly insignificant compared to the lifetime of parenting that comes afterwards.”

“I recently heard a woman on the radio waxing lyrical about how her two homebirths ‘were the most incredible experiences of my life and I don’t know anyone who had a hospital birth and could say the same thing’. Me. I could. Three hospital births. Loved them all.”

“The game of My Birth Was Better Than Yours is an ugly, destructive one. And hugely risky if it puts anything above the physical welfare of a baby. So yes, I could bang on and on about my birth experiences. But I’d prefer to tell you about my kids.”

There’s really no better way to end this post than with that!

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7 thoughts on “Childbirth… delivering a NOT GUILTY verdict

  1. I’ll read the rest of the article later… But hell yeah!

    Erika was 10 hours.. All normal… All fine…

    Charlie was 1.5 hours… In a rush, kinda stressful, hell painful, no time for drugs… Apparently he never got the memo that his labour was supposed to be about 5 hours… And at a reasonable time of day…

    Both great experiences, both the best times of my life, but both have no bearing on the type of mother I am or the type of kids I have!

      • It all happened so fast I went into a bit of shock… But once I stopped throwing up and shivering all was good again! I still remember the moment… Rod with a 3 minute old baby in one hand, holding a spew bag for me in the other… he he….

        Charlie was born in a hurry and he hasn’t slowed down yet!

  2. Love this!! My Daugher was breech and I had a c-section, people still say now (7 months on) “ohh, how disappointing for you, that you couldn’t experience a proper natural birth” … And i think “Are you frickin kidding me!” my kid came into the world exactly as she should, as to her rules, and completely healthy. There is no fun way of getting a baby out… Whether it’s a standard exit or emergancy exit. It’s was the little ones show, not mine! 🙂

  3. Was just talking to a girlfriend (who’s due to have her first babe in Oct) about this.. Once you’ve actually had your baby you realise how, almost, insignificant pregnancy and labour is in the scheme of things. A beautiful and special time, yes, but it’s such a short period (well 9 mths, 3 days and 27 hours in my case) in yours and your child’s life. As long as you’re both healthy and happy, who cares??! There are so many couple out there who would give their right arms to have what we do!

    • Exactly Anna! I should have known that because I’d already had a child but I still obsessed about it with Li’l Fatty. Hopefully third time (if there is one) I’ll just relax in the knowledge that what comes AFTER it’s born is the most important.

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