A little MORE conversation…

“I’m in the Kmart car park and I can’t get the bloody pram open,” I blurt out when Learner Dad answers his phone.
Then: “Okaaay,” he says, from his desk.
In his office.
At work.
I wait. I know I’m being all manner of bitch right now.
I mean, what can he possibly do about it from work?
“Have you tried pushing down the grey bar?” he asks.
“I would if there was a f****ng grey bar,” I respond.
I rarely swear. He must be frightened.
“Everybody’s looking at me, I have to get things at the shop before I go to school to pick up Master Seven and…”
Oh shit, I’ve just noticed a grey bar. I can’t tell him that now.
“Oh hang on, I’ve found a black bar,” I lie. “That seems to be working.”
Much to his relief, I let Learner Dad go and get on with my shopping.
As I push Li’l Fatty around the store, I start thinking: ‘Is this me becoming a wife? A dependent? The ball and chain?’
Learner Dad and I got engaged at Easter and I seem to be nailing the part of wife-to-be.
But then, maybe it’s not so much me becoming a Mrs as me returning to the life of a SAHM (acronym for Stay At Home Mum and the term we cool ones go by now thank you very much!)
Being a SAHM brings with it a certain kind of starvation… a hunger for adult conversation.
You can only say ‘bububub’ and ‘ging-ging-ging’ so many times a day.
Sure, Master Seven’s arrival home from school takes the conversation up a notch but you get sick of bum and poo jokes pretty quickly too.
I satiated my conversation hunger in Master Seven’s early years, when I was a single mum, by calling my own mother regularly.
She got the “he’s vomiting”, “he’s smiling” and “how do you get his finger out of the DVD player?” type calls.
But I would never have called her at work to say I couldn’t open the pram.
Those kind of calls I’ve reserved for my lucky future husband, Learner Dad.
And with that, I must dash and call him.
I think Li’l Fatty just made a new noise…


2 thoughts on “A little MORE conversation…

  1. “how do you get his finger out of the DVD player?” Ha ha ha, thankfully I haven’t had to say that one.. Although if I ever do, I think it will be “How do I get him down off the top shelf of the cabinet” lol…

    I feel your frustration, that is why I go to the club 4 days a week, train and get to partake in adult conversation… It has definitely saved my sanity 🙂

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