The sound of silence

If you’ve seen the film Marley and Me, you will most likely remember the ultrasound scene.
The excited buzz of the characters, played by Jen Aniston and Owen Wilson, recedes to dull silence as the doctor reveals there is no longer a heartbeat.
This scene resonated with me because it happened to one of my best friends.
After years of trying to fall pregnant, the countdown was on to that 12 week scan, when she and her hubby would surely determine all was ok and announce their happy news to everyone.
To find out later that their little baby’s heart had stopped beating was one of the saddest things I’d ever heard.
Although another close friend and I were standing by to catch the tears and dish out as many cuddles as she could handle, she retreated into a shell.
We barely saw her.
She knew we were there to listen.
But she also knew we had no idea what she was going through.
Months later, she told me she’d tried reaching out for what she needed but that there was really so little support for mothers who’d lost unborn bubs.
Sure, social networking had the potential to open up doors but it’s not like you’re going to post: “Looking for people who’ve lost a baby. PM me.”
I haven’t needed to seek that kind of support before so I’m not sure if it’s improved, but once again an article by Mia Freedman caught my attention.
She is compiling a book on the very subject and, not only will there be stories for you to read and hopefully relate to, but you’re invited to share your own.
Mia, who lost a baby herself late in pregnancy, shares the story here of the sudden death of her friend’s newborn, Leo.
http://www.mamamia.com.au/parenting/losing-a-baby-stillbirth/

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2 thoughts on “The sound of silence

  1. The sad reality is that 1 in 4 pregnancies results in a loss. That is a huge number but it is still such a taboo subject and really shouldn’t be. No mother should have to suffer in silence through what is one of the most isolating experiences you can have. Unfortunately I know this from experience but found that there are organisations out there that can help connect you with others who also feel your pain. Pregnancy Loss Australia is just one of many who provide such support, information and counselling services. We received one of their packs along with a bear that had been donated in memory of another angel baby whilst in hospital after losing our little girl. They also have a closed facebook group so you can share your story, vent, cry or just be comforted by the fact that you are not alone on your journey.

    • Thanks Kathryn. No doubt (sadly) I will hear of it happening again and it’s great to know of resources out there that I can pass on. I’ll remember this comment as reference.

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