Keep ’em guessing

“I know what you’ve got me, the 2013 sports diary,” Learner Dad said, as we were sitting wrapping presents for the Christmas tree.
“No, I haven’t actually,” I lied.
“Did you really not buy it for me?” Learner Dad asked.
“Nope, I got you something else,” I answered.
“Ok, I better order one then so I have it in time for the new year.”
“You do that.”
“Right, I’ll go and order it right now then.”
Learner Dad got up and left the loungeroom.
I tried to call his bluff but couldn’t do it.
“Ok, ok, stuff you!” I yelled after him. “I got you the damn sports diary. Happy?”
“Did you really?” he grinned, poking his head back in the door.
Every birthday, every Christmas, Learner Dad likes to take an accurate stab at what I’ve bought him and it drives me mad.
The sports diary doesn’t sound much but it was the only present I was giving him from me.
The rest were from the boys and fortunately remained unguessed (I suppose he was too scared to try after the sports diary).
But only three weeks later he’s been at it again.
Today is Learner Dad’s birthday.
And I had three fantastic presents in mind from the outset.
The first, to be from Li’l Fatty, was a brainwave.
Or so I thought.
I spent a whole afternoon dragging the boys around Eastlands looking for a Blu Ray copy of Episodes, season two.
I knew Learner Dad loved the first season, perhaps didn’t even know they’d made another, and would be absolutely rapt.
But that very night, Learner Dad decided for no apparent reason to tell his parents about two TV shows we’d recently watched and enjoyed.
One of them was Episodes.
“And Ali is going to buy me season two for my birthday. Aren’t you?” he asked, nudging me.
I looked away, gutted.
The second present was to be from me.
“I reckon you’ve got us a new bed,” he said, snuggled up to me one night.
“No I haven’t,” I said quickly. “You won’t be getting one of those on your birthday.”
In fact, he’d be getting it three weeks later, due to delivery complications.
I’d symbolically wrapped up a new sheet set for him instead.
Damn him!
The final present was to be from Master Seven.
I was extremely confident Learner Dad wouldn’t guess this one.
It was a legal certificate showing Master Seven now shared the same surname as his dad.
And, judging by the tears in his eyes and the shocked look on his face, I think we got Learner Dad a beauty.
That’ll teach you honey.
Happy birthday x


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