The Naked Truth

“Mum, why have you got string hanging between your legs?”
Okay so any male readers I had just shut this post down as quick as you can say: ‘Oh my god, fetch me my toolkit and turn on the footy’.
Probably half my female readers did too because, let’s face it, we know I’m approaching icky territory.
For those of you still here, wondering how the hell I answered this question, read on.
“Well, mummies sometimes have to… we use things called tamp…”
I tried a different tack: “You see, every month mummies… we get things called…”
I gave up: “Can you please get out and give mummy some privacy?”
I remember a friend saying to me, when Master Seven was a toddler, how appalled she was another friend still occasionally showered with her seven-year-old son.
I didn’t see the big deal.
Sure, he might take up a little more room, but seven is still little, innocent.
Back then, I loved having showers and baths with my little man and hated the thought of it ending.
It did end.
A long time ago.
And the nudity would end soon too.
‘Why do girls have hair there?’
‘Mum, you’ve got a funny wrinkle on your bum.’
‘Look! My nose is up to your boobs now!’
A recent survey by Aussie chat show Can of Worms showed a majority of viewers believed our kids should never see us naked.
Never?!
I was gobsmacked.
Clearly I was in the minority on that one.
And so was my own mum.
Although privacy came in to play at some point, I still remember marvelling at the stretch marks on her tummy when she had a bath and seeing the birth mark on her leg when she got into the shower.
Did I comment too?
Make her feel awkward?
Awkward enough that she one day simply locked the door, ignoring my confused demands to be let in?
Because Master Seven spent his first five years without a father, Learner Dad’s physique is subject to a greater level of scrutiny than mine.
When we first moved in with him, his bits were the focus of many long and curious stares (by Master Seven, not me, for the record).
Luckily Learner Dad didn’t mind.
But I was beginning to.
Our bathroom door has no lock and I’d recently either jump to cover myself up or stand there naked and slightly awkward when Master Seven burst in.
So why didn’t I just drum the whole ‘knocking before you enter’ thing into him?
Well, because I was a bit sad that I was suddenly feeling that way around him.
But I guess privacy was something he was going to have to learn sooner or later.
He still wasn’t seeking it, quite happy to flaunt himself in his gangly, pasty birthday suit on any occasion.
(It really was much cuter when he was two.)
I suppose I should treasure these glimpses of my firstborn in all his naked glory.
Because one day his beautiful little body, that body that I made, will be closed off to me forever.

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7 thoughts on “The Naked Truth

  1. I agree with you, in our family there have always been photos of my dad/mum and us kids or his grandkids in the bath (really were babies/toddlers), the photos we not show anything but the fun us kids had in the bath. Yes we were young but I always now get really upset to think that others didn’t think it was acceptable. Children are only children for so long especially this generation. My son who is turning 12 this year is afraid to show any part of his body and I get upset because yes he has puppy fat, but the whole point of home is to be yourself. This is a ‘gutsy’ post on the subject kudos to you!

    • Thanks Alicia. Learner Dad literally yelled out in horror when he began reading so I almost had second thoughts but figured mummies would relate. Must be so hard when they become self conscious around their own mums. Mine is still the complete opposite, around anyone and everyone, but I don’t tell him to cover up (unless its totally inappropriate) because I don’t want him to feel ashamed

  2. Nothing wrong with nudity. People are so hung up about sex & sexuality & somehow being naked means both of those things which is weird & bit unsettling. My parents had a tanning lamp thing when I was a kid, I would often see them walking around in the buff (with those funny goggles on) & didn’t think twice about it. I cover up now mainly because my boys are teens & they don’t want to see me naked as it embarrasses them.

  3. I love this post. I also think about the fact that one day the beautiful little bodies I have cared for so carefully over the years will slip away from me. My 8 yo still wants to bathe with her baby brother and me but will tell me to turn around when she is getting dressed after the bath, lol. She has also asked me about “the string” but being I girl I tried to explain it to her gently.

    • Thanks Julie. Not wanting to dwell on the hideous ‘string’ in my post, I didn’t mention that Master 7 went on to ask if he could pull it to see what happens. Argh! Thanks for your comment. It’s wonderful and awful watching them become independent little people

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