Without this ring, I thee wed

“I don’t know if I want to wear a wedding ring,” Learner Dad said seriously.
I looked at him.
“Just joking!” he laughed, poking me in the side.
He’d made this joke about eight times now and I was beginning to wonder whether he was actually trying to tell me something.
With five months until our Big Day, it was time to start looking at wedding rings.
Although my groomzilla was across everything – “You get your flowers organised this week please” or “Al, have you booked your hair trial?” – he hadn’t once suggested we pencil in a trip to the jewellers.
And he greeted my own prompting to do so with a shrug and ‘I guess so’.
And then we’d forget about it.
Learner Dad does insist he’s joking about not getting a ring.
But would I care if he chose not to wear one anyway?
I’m not sure I would.
After all, Prince William declined to wear one, a royal aide quoted as saying His Royal Highness ‘…isn’t one for jewellery’.
But is it just jewellery?
Is it not a symbol?
Of love?
Of eternal love (the whole endless circle bit)?
And that you’re now off the market?
With Prince William’s wedding watched by millions of women around the world, I’m disinclined to think he refuses to wear one because he wants to appear ‘single’.
But for some men, that could be the case.
You wear a ring, you become a marked man.
It’s a woman’s elegant way of urinating permanently on her property, leaving a visible ‘scent’ for all the bitches in heat out there.
And wedding rings do come in handy for the single gals, believe me.
I was one for a long time.
But it’s not just women marking their men.
Wedding rings were originally only worn by wives, as a sign that they were ‘owned’ by their husbands.
This can be traced back to ancient Egypt.
They only became popular with men here in Australia during World War II.
Those in service began wearing them as light reminders of their wives and families at home.
I decided to employ a bit of reverse psychology on Learner Dad and suggested we ditch the whole rings idea, told him I wouldn’t wear one either, saving him any discomfort and both of us a little bit of money.
He met me at the jewellers that day.
Then he found out he had to wear a flower on his wedding day.
Do unmarried men really not know this?
Am I marrying the biggest ocker ever?
I shot his complaints down quicker than you can say ring a ring a rosie AND a pocket full of posie
And once he’d googled ‘grooms’ and satisfied himself it was normal and not some weird new thing I was insisting upon in order to embarrass him, he was ok with it.
And if anyone thinks my groom looks remotely feminine on his wedding day, well, I’ll eat my veil.


5 thoughts on “Without this ring, I thee wed

  1. Nice one about the reverse psychology bit. I did exactly the same i.e. if you don’t want to look married, neither do I. Worked a treat 🙂 I love your blog; you inspired me to start my own 🙂

  2. So glad I have read this today! We have been having the ring wearing conversation in our house this week – we were married at 22 and at the time I insisted that there would be a ring worn 24/7! Now, both turning 30 this year, my husband has lost so much weight it doesn’t fit. It doesn’t bother me now, as I know he would wear it if he could. A ring is an outward expression of love and commitment – why wouldn’t you want the world to see that!

  3. My new husband also doesn’t wear one! At first i was a little upset, hurt and a tad confused but I let it go. I got him a simple, cheap stainless one for the exchange of ring ceremony and asked him to wear it for our honeymoon 🙂 and left it at that! He now wears it most days and I don’t even have to nag!

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