Do I give a toss?

“Alison, quick, they’re going to throw the bouquet! Where’s Alison? Has anyone seen Alison?
“Are there any single girls here besides Alison?”
Being the token singleton at weddings for most of my 20’s and early 30’s, I was the prime target for the bouquet toss.
I’d happily fly under the radar for most of the night, despite the fact my single status meant I was regularly pointed out to ‘single-for-a-reason groomsmen’ or that I rounded out the numbers on the couples table by being seated next to ‘cousin Gary-who’s-never-had-a-girlfriend’.
When I was first old enough to attend weddings, I thought the bouquet toss was a bit of a, well, toss, but jumped in the heaving pack of single ladies for fun.
As I got older and my number of single friends started dwindling, I’d loiter at the back of the pack, behind the fresh crop of giggling single teens, feeling slightly conspicuous.
Finally, in the end, I’d disappear to the toilet when I got even a whiff of that bouquet (even if Aunt Molly was right and this one did have my name on it).
I’d mostly been a happy single woman.
Sometimes a wedding between the right people would tug gently at my heart strings, make me wonder where my own soul mate was, but mostly they were just a good excuse to party.
And being single meant you could flirt, dance and drink with whoever you liked (even if the only option left was cousin Gary).
But then came the bouquet toss.
A heady mix of daisies and desperation would hit the air, as your married friends sought you out.
“Here’s one, I found one!” they’d shout smugly, shoving you toward the dance floor.
And suddenly you felt that being single wasn’t good enough.
You had to catch that flower so you could catch a man before you caught depression and ended it all.
There are dangers in going in for the bouquet toss.
You’re at the mercy of all sorts of slips – dress slips down, feet slip up.
You’re also at the mercy of the aggressive single chick who will happily bash through anyone who gets between her and that bunch of flowers.
There’s always one.
And it’s hardly worth the risk when, at the end of the day, the bride is always going to aim for her ‘best-friend-who-she-just-knows-is-going-to-get-engaged-any-day-now’.
Will I toss my bouquet at my wedding?
Would it make me a hypocrite if I did?
Would I disappoint the single ladies if I didn’t?
Or will they all be hiding in the toilet anyway?
My mum had hers laid on her mother’s grave.
Luckily I don’t have a grave waiting for mine.
But I have plenty of living loved ones who might appreciate it.
Like cousin Gary.
Maybe I’ll just throw it to him.


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